I’ve been in my recent job for
almost complete two years, passing fantastic phases of wandering around some
cities in some Island in Indonesia. Being relocated to some different cities or
islands several times in a month or two gave me lot of experiences in business,
culture, and travelling. I’ve got myself
many chances to speak in front of hundreds of people giving a speech and
training. I was in euphoria of a fresh graduate who got his dream job and doing
it like doing my hobby. Yes, travelling is my hobby. Speaking in front of others
is also fun for me. However, later on I found myself in comfort zone. I started
to question myself. Is this really I want. The answer was not really clear. I
love the job but I’m not satisfied with the capacity I have.
My mind took me to the declaration I had with
some friends about studying in higher education. I want to pursue a master
degree, a post graduate level. I want to find myself in a very academic atmosphere
in one of the big universities in the world. I want to find myself busy with
research, bunch of books and journal, discussing with friends while having
coffee. The awareness of what I really want lead me to the conflict in myself.
I passed the day with thinking and amusing. I went depressed.
The decision taken, I told my boss that I
wanted to quit from the position and go back to Java to be an ordinary trainer
without managerial position requiring me to always relocate. I want to stay and
focus on preparation. I left the regional manager position and chose relocation
back to Malang. A week later, I was in the flight to Bali for long holiday,
disconnecting myself with all job stuff. At the same time, my mother got a call
from stranger demanding for money because they claimed they have kidnapped me.
The condition supported by the fact that my mother couldn’t dial my mobile
phone. The day after, when she finally connected to my number, she was crying.
In Bali, I forgot all my doubt. I
was totally enjoying the beaches and sun. I spent time to enjoy the tranquil
Ubud, visiting galleries, cafes, rice fields, as well as walking the villages’
street and exploring the Ubud market. I found a very worth small guest house
that value our money. Sounds like “Eat, Pray and love” huh? Little bit. I
enjoyed the breeze coast of Bali as well. Spending the day in Padang-Padang,
Labuhan Sait, Balangan, Suluban and exploring the Benoa as well.
I got back to Malang with
hard-to-leave-feeling. I’ve considered bali as a home. I got back with the
decision to focus on one scholarship which would take me to one of UE country.
Starting my job in Malang I pushed myself to increase my TOEFL and started the
research proposal. Lucky me, I have many friends who are willing to give their
hands, even the one who studies in USA didn’t mind to call my phone assessing
my letter of statement. He spent his credit to make a-more-than-hour phone
call. Others took their time from their hectic job just to discuss with me. I’m
blessed to have them.
When I’ve finally submitted my
scholarship application, the other option of my future came. I’ve to choose to
continue my scholarship plan or go on with my Bali project. I was very confused
with the options. All are good; all are big part of my life. I decided to go
back to hometown spending a week with my mother and big family and also
spending ten days in Bali. I ended up deciding to go on with my Bali project.
It means I’ll start new brand, I make “U-Turn” with bunches of consequences. I
cried myself for this decision. A part of me judged me as a betrayal of my own
dream. Another part cheered up that what
I’ve decided is a wise decision; life is not about taking a long straight
street but we must be ready to make “U-turn”. I was forced to accept that ‘Rome
is not only can be reached from Soetta Airport, but it can also be reached from
Changi, Svarnabhumi, or even from Delhi’. Perhaps, what I’ve done is going to
Rome via Ngurah Rai Airport and having transit in Dubai. Eventually, the
destination is Rome.
In the end we have to always
choose. Sometimes it’s easy option like picking I-pad from ‘Chinese Pad’ but
sometimes it’s like choosing between I-pad 2 and Galaxy note. In my case,I love
I-pad but I also want the sophisticated galaxy-note. What make me hard to
choose is that I-Pad has no USB port or memory card that I need but it has a
shiny apple logo and created by Steve Jobs, one of my favorite figure while
galaxy note has the USB port and many compatible devices to connect to other
gadgets but has no shiny prestigious logo that I love. We have to choose
anyway. So, pick one and continue life!